Jake?

[Crimson]

Yup, didn't know where else to put this, so yeah.

How to explain, how to explain... It's complicated but I'll try anyway.

for a very long time (maybe, first grade?) There's always been something like a dark cloud hovering at the back of my mind. I've known it was there, but for the most part I ignored it. Recently though, it's been kinda weird. Whenever I have a really nice, happy dream, I usually have an emotional high the next day. Happy mood, smiles, hugs, putting up with adam and his annoying puppy-dog crap. Earlier this year, though (school year, not year year.) when I had a happy dream, happy thoughts, happy happy happy, the dark part came out and screamed (in my head) "Get over it, it's never gonna happen" I cried. a lot.

After that, I started meditating on that darker part of me, which I learned is called Jake. I kinda freaked when I found out there's a part of me that's male, but I think I'm over the freakyness now. Anyway, I think Jake is my minds way of coping with being a social outcast with little friends that I actually enjoy being around. For the most part, whenever I'm alone, I tend to sit in one place staring at the same part of a wall for hours on end. That would be Jake, who I'm sure doesn't care about anyone besides himself/myself(?). But whenever I hang around with my friends friends, it's like he's not there. Not even the dark cloud hovering at the back of my mind.


I'm still confused about all this, like why is Jake not there when I'm having fun? Or why is he there in the first place? Can anyone help me out here?

[slyfor]

i really have no idea, but i can try

maybe its just the phesimistic (did i spell that right?) side of your mind, that would explain why he isnt there when you're having fun... cuz i doubt it really has to do with some kind of shizophrenia, although we can not leave out any possibilities... i dont know any therian term to cover this though

[Thylae]

I would talk to a psychologist first and foremost. Could be a problem that you might need sorted out.


-Syrangeti

[RedFeather]

Yeah... I don't think there's anything wrong with you (though obviously, I'm no psychologist) - I do think that perhaps Jake represents something for you - some aspect of yourself. Your pessimistic side, or something else. Although the pessimistic side does seem to fit. Could also be that you see yourself a certain way, and that Jake represents the polarities to those things - so basically, the opposite of how you see yourself - maybe he's your way of keeping your darker thoughts together - I don't know. It's interesting, though.

[bloodtear]

From a purely psychological perspective, Jake sounds like a dissociated personality. However, only a professional would know for sure.

[xdarkkitsunex]

I think that your mind, subconsciously, is taking all of your bad memories and pessimistic thoughts and creating another personality or persona. I think that maybe you should find some way to confront him...or...I don't know.

[Wolfie]

that's a possibility

[felgreywolf]

IS he really being a problem? talk to him, associate with him. find out what he wants.

oddly enough ive been experiencing something similar XD . Although my...darker... side takes on the form of a Teslarenamon. A digimon that i made up, but anyway... Hes pretty cold, careless, dark. Overal not a nice guy.

Oddly enough, its like i have a multiple personality. at times, tesla has reign over my body. like a mentals shift, except he knows what he is doing. afterwards i have full recollection, but im just not ME.

Its fun when he does something active, because he is arenamon and has the coordination and mental acuity of one. so freerunningis awesome, geting into a fight he can mroe than hold his own. but the problem with that is that he has very little morality and ethics.

[tigerty]

Hmm.. I have similar pessimistic side.. it really feels like it's some other person. I don't know is it a male or female, but I call her Leena since my first name is Kaisaleena, and everybody calls me just Kaisa... and.. so Leena is that other side of me, the dark side.. who sometimes whispers these bad thoughts in my head.. Mostly those thoughts are something like "You're stupid and you can't do anything right. You're bad at everything." or something like "You can't do it, don't even bother." and so on.. So basically she is just this really annoying person inside me.. who likes to diss me...
She's around pretty much all the time... but sometimes my "better side" just makes her silent..
But mostly.. when I'm succeeding in something she comes and tells me that I'm not that good for real. Though I know I am good at many things.. she just makes me feel bad...

[Equinuus-Felinity]

sounds very plausible to me.

From a psychological stand-point, is not good. If it is just a personality that your minds invented, it could end up hurting you alot more than anything else.

From another stand-point, though, is very interesting that you'd have this within you...a whole person within the person that just happens to be amazingly dark.

As for why he's not there when you're having fun? I'd say he retreats because he can't compete against total joy. Or maybe he doesn't want to hear your happiness, so he just takes a hike to bermuda until you're finished