Post by strill on Jul 18, 2008 20:21:19 GMT -5
Howdy 
My name is Cassie, although in therian communities I go by Strill. I also used to go by Star, although that was years ago. I am currently twenty-one years old and living in Colorado; though I think I will always consider Texas my "home". I am female and heterosexual. I don't follow any exact religion, no have any patron deity to which I pray. I try to speak plainly, as I would in real life; none of this buttered up, flowery nonsense that has to be unraveled before being understood. I believe myself to be clever, artistic, rational and mostly modest; above all else I believe myself to be a loyal friend and a loving family member. I generally like people and my nature is generally friendly; I care. I have a twin sister, a younger brother, a little sister, and no pets; I was also married at eighteen, divorced at twenty. My life's goal is to find some way to work with and for animals. This is where I am today.
When I was about thirteen or fourteen, I discovered my first online therian community: the message boards at therianthropy.org. Like most people, I was in awe when I found others who not only shared my experiences and beliefs, but also had a name for it: therianthropy. I'm not ignorant or arrogant enough to believe I knew what I was at the time. I was in the years where my real ideals and beliefs started surfacing and developing; and I was just as prone as the next kid to make mistakes. I first identified as a dragon; to be more (unfortunately) specific I identified as a shapeshifter and a dragon: I felt such intense connections to all animals (I'd thought at the time) that I assumed I must just be some sort of creature who could shape shift into any of my "weresides". The folly of youth. It wasn't until receiving a very blunt, much needed, digital boot to the head that I forced myself to a great level of self-introspection. I thank those I'd first run across on TO, who had the decency to be upfront and honest with me, even if my pride was hurt.
When I started focusing more on who I was, I realized that some of the shifts I was experiencing (because there is and was no doubt in my mind on the validity of those shifts) felt different than the others. For instance, I could feel myself BEING a cat.. but in a way that any child could pretend to be a cat, knowing enough about how cats act and look. It was these shifts that I could identify as non-integral, at times even externally based. when I began to isolate these (what I know today to be termed as "cameo-shifts") I could see more what was left. Canine - grey - Wolf? no - something smaller - fox? maybe.. It was truly when I arrived at fox that I knew I had a lead. My actions and my characteristics seemed to agree; I was adaptive, clever, able to be comfortable in any setting. These things were me, the way I thought and what I did, as natural and instinctual as I really felt. I could almost picture myself during occasional shifts - always grey in color, when color mattered. The only thing that didn't seem to fit was species; I didn't feel like a grey fox. Then I found out Red Foxes can come in silver grey, and THAT fit. Silly me for not finishing my research. As an interesting side note, it was after I discovered this that I found foxes to be spiritually associated with shape shifting; helped me explain to myself the high frequency of cameo shifts.
On the subject of shifts, I believe I have always experienced some degree of mental shifting, even back to some of my earliest childhood memories. My siblings and I would frequently play we were animals: digging dens, fighting for who was in charge, or even scurrying up trees or barking at each other. So many things in my past evidence to me that I have always been this way, this animalistic. Learning about and opening myself up in the therian community helped me to not suppress these feelings and I was encourage in my shifting and how it shaped me.
My most frequent shifts, as I've said, are cameos. At times I wonder if I am just a fox contherian who experiences a myriad of other animal shifts. So far, I cannot determine if this is true, and I won't stress over it. Other common shifts include mental (to which is mostly cougar) and phantom (which mostly includes a variety of tails, paws, teeth and, above all, ears). My shifts are mostly triggered by emotions or feeling. I have yet to experience a shift that I would classify as dream shifting, and in memory I have never been to the astral plane.
I question myself whenever I can. As rational as I know I can be, I also know I am in part human and therefore err. I also agree wholeheartedly with the definition of therianthropy as presented by Sonne Spiritwind: "A person who is, feels, or believes he/she is in part or whole (non-physically) one or more non-human animals on an integral, personal level." It is the "integral" and "personal" part of the therian experience I agree the most with, and is why I believe therianthropy is right label for me, when I give myself a label. I am also one of those who believes Otherkin, in its most basic definition, describes a person who believes part of themselves to be in some way non-human. Because of this I feel that therianthropy could be a type of Otherkin, although I would not call myself "Otherkin" (nor expect any therian to do so), as I prefer "therian".
On a daily level, I believe therianthropy affects the choices I make as well as my reactions. I experience shifts; although they don't disrupt my daily life, they do influence the direction it takes. I occasionally growl when I'm angry, yelp when I'm surprised, howl when I have the urge to do so and am in an area I'd deem safe to do so, and would use my teeth and claws to defend myself if need be. Being a therian is who I am, accepting and learning more about myself in this context has brought me to a much more satisfying level of being.
In any community I join, I expect maturity, intelligence and a willingness to share experiences and delight in well informed, non-hostile conversation or debate. I'm looking for friends, people with similar beliefs, and even those who just wish to learn more. I am forever a student in life reminding myself to be humble, with an eternal curiosity, hungry for more information (knowing I will never be all-knowing).
And that is part (definitely not all) of who I am.
My name is Cassie, although in therian communities I go by Strill. I also used to go by Star, although that was years ago. I am currently twenty-one years old and living in Colorado; though I think I will always consider Texas my "home". I am female and heterosexual. I don't follow any exact religion, no have any patron deity to which I pray. I try to speak plainly, as I would in real life; none of this buttered up, flowery nonsense that has to be unraveled before being understood. I believe myself to be clever, artistic, rational and mostly modest; above all else I believe myself to be a loyal friend and a loving family member. I generally like people and my nature is generally friendly; I care. I have a twin sister, a younger brother, a little sister, and no pets; I was also married at eighteen, divorced at twenty. My life's goal is to find some way to work with and for animals. This is where I am today.
When I was about thirteen or fourteen, I discovered my first online therian community: the message boards at therianthropy.org. Like most people, I was in awe when I found others who not only shared my experiences and beliefs, but also had a name for it: therianthropy. I'm not ignorant or arrogant enough to believe I knew what I was at the time. I was in the years where my real ideals and beliefs started surfacing and developing; and I was just as prone as the next kid to make mistakes. I first identified as a dragon; to be more (unfortunately) specific I identified as a shapeshifter and a dragon: I felt such intense connections to all animals (I'd thought at the time) that I assumed I must just be some sort of creature who could shape shift into any of my "weresides". The folly of youth. It wasn't until receiving a very blunt, much needed, digital boot to the head that I forced myself to a great level of self-introspection. I thank those I'd first run across on TO, who had the decency to be upfront and honest with me, even if my pride was hurt.
When I started focusing more on who I was, I realized that some of the shifts I was experiencing (because there is and was no doubt in my mind on the validity of those shifts) felt different than the others. For instance, I could feel myself BEING a cat.. but in a way that any child could pretend to be a cat, knowing enough about how cats act and look. It was these shifts that I could identify as non-integral, at times even externally based. when I began to isolate these (what I know today to be termed as "cameo-shifts") I could see more what was left. Canine - grey - Wolf? no - something smaller - fox? maybe.. It was truly when I arrived at fox that I knew I had a lead. My actions and my characteristics seemed to agree; I was adaptive, clever, able to be comfortable in any setting. These things were me, the way I thought and what I did, as natural and instinctual as I really felt. I could almost picture myself during occasional shifts - always grey in color, when color mattered. The only thing that didn't seem to fit was species; I didn't feel like a grey fox. Then I found out Red Foxes can come in silver grey, and THAT fit. Silly me for not finishing my research. As an interesting side note, it was after I discovered this that I found foxes to be spiritually associated with shape shifting; helped me explain to myself the high frequency of cameo shifts.
On the subject of shifts, I believe I have always experienced some degree of mental shifting, even back to some of my earliest childhood memories. My siblings and I would frequently play we were animals: digging dens, fighting for who was in charge, or even scurrying up trees or barking at each other. So many things in my past evidence to me that I have always been this way, this animalistic. Learning about and opening myself up in the therian community helped me to not suppress these feelings and I was encourage in my shifting and how it shaped me.
My most frequent shifts, as I've said, are cameos. At times I wonder if I am just a fox contherian who experiences a myriad of other animal shifts. So far, I cannot determine if this is true, and I won't stress over it. Other common shifts include mental (to which is mostly cougar) and phantom (which mostly includes a variety of tails, paws, teeth and, above all, ears). My shifts are mostly triggered by emotions or feeling. I have yet to experience a shift that I would classify as dream shifting, and in memory I have never been to the astral plane.
I question myself whenever I can. As rational as I know I can be, I also know I am in part human and therefore err. I also agree wholeheartedly with the definition of therianthropy as presented by Sonne Spiritwind: "A person who is, feels, or believes he/she is in part or whole (non-physically) one or more non-human animals on an integral, personal level." It is the "integral" and "personal" part of the therian experience I agree the most with, and is why I believe therianthropy is right label for me, when I give myself a label. I am also one of those who believes Otherkin, in its most basic definition, describes a person who believes part of themselves to be in some way non-human. Because of this I feel that therianthropy could be a type of Otherkin, although I would not call myself "Otherkin" (nor expect any therian to do so), as I prefer "therian".
On a daily level, I believe therianthropy affects the choices I make as well as my reactions. I experience shifts; although they don't disrupt my daily life, they do influence the direction it takes. I occasionally growl when I'm angry, yelp when I'm surprised, howl when I have the urge to do so and am in an area I'd deem safe to do so, and would use my teeth and claws to defend myself if need be. Being a therian is who I am, accepting and learning more about myself in this context has brought me to a much more satisfying level of being.
In any community I join, I expect maturity, intelligence and a willingness to share experiences and delight in well informed, non-hostile conversation or debate. I'm looking for friends, people with similar beliefs, and even those who just wish to learn more. I am forever a student in life reminding myself to be humble, with an eternal curiosity, hungry for more information (knowing I will never be all-knowing).
And that is part (definitely not all) of who I am.
Anyway, welcome to this place, it's a fun place. yep...
