Post by bandit on May 27, 2011 15:19:37 GMT -5
whether it be through sheer stupidity, ignorence or just plain rotten timing and luck i am sure each of us has lost someone to death that in life was a family relative or a close friend to the point of literally being like family .
more often then not it being a event that haunts each person due to said person believing that on some level or in some way that they did not do enough to save that person in the end
I hate that death is indiscriminate and that it takes no heed of age or race or innocence or guilt. And there have been times, when I have watched loved ones - both pets and people - suffer and die, that were I able to force it into concrete reality, I'd have fought it tooth-and-nail to hold it back for a time, or to force it to experieince that dieing persons pain and suffering for itself in forcing it to give that person such a death that the dieing person could pass away in the most painless manner possible.
of all the canines i have known as immediate family to my person over the years i have known at least 1 that i was so close to on a personel level that i loved that dog like she was my own flesh and blood daughter
her name was ala and she was a red short haired minature doxhound puppy. she was my friend but over time i came to love here like she was my own flesh and blood daughter.
at one point in her life she became paralyzed through the hind legs while she was still at a very young age in her life and overtime it got to the point that there was nothing that the vet could do to heal her short of extremely costly surgery that i and my family could not afford at all at the time
at one point i got so desperate that i was seriously considering giving up my very soul on the matter
not sell/ or trade or barter it mind you but willingly giving up my life and soul in a entirely selfless sacrifice to anyone or to anything that might be willing to hear my prayers for ala to be healed of her injuries and paralysis would be willing
i was willing to take any action on the matter to willingly give anything of m ybeing to have her healed if thats what it would take at the time to heal my baby so that she could go on living her remaining lifetime in good health and without experieincing further pain or suffering in her life time.
at the time i literally did not care at all whaty would becoem of my being in the afterlife.
sometimes in life when you love someone so much you would literally go against the will of god and heaven itself and go through the fires of hell itself if neeed be to preserve that persons right to life so as to keep them from dieing the untimely death they are in no way deserving of
where family and true friends are concerned i just happen to be that kind of guy through and through
as it played out at the time i just prayed that whoever heard my prayer would at least be willing to allow me to die in her place instead so that ala could go on living her life in good health
as for alla she managed to make a full recovery in a months time though the vet never could understand for himself how exactly it wa possible for her to make a full recovery from such a sever injury as a paralyzed lower back.
i have no doubt though that i will in some way find myself dieing a untimely death at some later point in my lie for my role in forcing the matter to happen
to be honest i don't got much love in my heart for god and i have little actual faith in him where my person is concerned.
to be honest i have a major personel grieviance with him and my parents/families on the matter of religion when it comes to the fact that my parents did their damndest to force on my unwilling person asa child a religion i have never had any kind of genuine personel interest in
as a non christian though i am willing at times as a adult to have a greater degree of faith in god where the life of a friend or family relative of mine is concerned
to be honest though i dont care for the will of my parents or their families period.
i mean no disrespect to be honest and while i got faith in christ and accept him into my heart as my personel savior i reject the christian religion itself for the most part as a open minded person
what i did to save ala's life i would do for any friend or relative in my family human or canine alike for that matter