Hey ^^

[Lieka]

This will be brief, because I don't have much time, but I wanted to post something to introduce myself before I check out for today.

I am a winged wolf. This is my basis that I cling to. I know its odd, but thats me for certain. I am going through an odd time spiritually recently. I shifted into some sort of hooded snake for no reason whatsoever, and I now have links to it, I also am unsure as to what my wings are like, (Feathered? Bat? Dragon? Black? White?), I have reasons to suspect demon-kin is in the mix somewhere, I have started to take some energy vampiric tenancies, and I am understandably confused. I am, I think, going through an awakening period, and I want some people to talk to! ;D
Don't worry, I wont dump it all on you.
And I shall go into this mess more in detail later.
*phew!*

[Thylae]

Welcome Lieka!

First of all, what leads you to suspect you are otherkin/therian at all?


-Inali

[Lieka]

Since I was 11, I have been comfortable with the idea that I was a wolf therianthrope. Then all of a sudden, from around last month, I have been going through a very strange time. First off, I found my daemon. OK, call it what you like, but I don’t know the proper name, so I shall use ‘daemon’ because I know other people who use the term. I’m talking about being able to see the form of my soul outside the body as an animal, which changes shape according to mood and convenience. Only I can see him.

Anyway, when I first found him, I had trouble talking to him, because my own mind kept on putting in the answers I wanted to hear. I used a ‘notepad message board’, I would write a question on a notepad, and meditate on it until I heard an answer (or rather, a flow of feelings from him that I translate as an answer). Up until I discovered this method, he had been taking the form of a winged wolf almost constantly. I thought nothing of it, but when I asked why he took this form, I got feelings of relief, and belonging, and an idea of him mirroring me.
And then I realised that I had wings. I had been walking and adjusting to the weight of them for months, even flexing them, and I never realised. My daemon had been trying to tell me.

When I realised this, I got such a strong affirmative from my daemon that I knew he had been quite frustrated! (He now changes to all animals, according to mood ect)

That was a shock in itself, but after only a few weeks the next shock came.
I was walking home from school, it was dark, and I shifted, phantom/mental. I was so used to this by now that I just took it in my stride, so it was a while before I realised that it wasn’t a wolf I was shifting into, but something else. I felt smooth, supple, a strange feeling around my neck and a strange hardness in my eyes.
A car suddenly shot past, startling me in my animal state, and I reared back and actually hissed. Not just a human ‘ssssssssss’ but a real snake hiss. It sort of started at the back of my throat and echoed round my mouth. I can’t describe the actual noise.
So, I had shifted, without warning, into a snake with a hood. Weird. I had always liked snakes, but not like that, not that I knew. I also became obsessed with this hosho (Indian rattle) that makes a high-pitch noise, like a rattlesnake uses to imitate a snake hiss.

I was talking to a friend of mine on another forum’s chatroom, who is some sort of demon. (Apologies to you if you’re reading this, tell me if I get any details wrong! ^.^ He had read my account of this experience, and referred to another thread where I talked about bloodlust, which I assumed was a result of being a vegetarian carnivore. I also get violent instincts and visions towards people that annoy me, nomatter how slightly or irrationally.

He made a link ‘twixt the two, and other things, and asked if I ever had considered how demon-like some of my behaviour was. He says he has suspected me for a while. I looked up demonkin on Google, and found a lot of parallels. Also, I feel that the snake I now seem to have in my soul does not seem to be a true snake. The hood always seems to be up, and I always have my wolf ears. The fangs are the wrong shape. And my bloodlust has been increasing.
It was because of bloodlust that I ever suspected vampirism in the first place. Before I thought about being a vegetarian carnivore, I thought I was perhaps sanguine. I get a kick of energy out of blood (No I’m not iron deficient), and I can feed energy off humans, animal, the sun and naturally from the moon. Yes, I have a strong moon connection. That makes me sound like a poser. I don’t care. I just do. I feed from it when I howl to it, or even just see it.

And meanwhile, my wings are/were going weird. First I thought they were white feathery, then black feathery, then bat, white again…
Then I felt some sort of sharp nub at the top, like a dragon wing fingerhook.

So I'm really confused.
But I know I'm wolf, I know that for sure!

[Lieka]

Oh, sorry, I just realized I didn't answer your question.

Umm... can we just say for now that I'm sure of the wolf connections, so I don't have to write another essay right now? I will soon, cos I will for some other people that want to know too.

[Equinuus-Felinity]

Well, welcome to the boards Lieka.
Nice to have you here.
You definitely have a most interesting story...
Best of luck to you finding out what you truly are!
*gives you plate of cookies that gives +50 to feeling welcomed*

[RedFeather]

Hello! Nice to meet you.

[Lieka]

Thankyou!
*You found... Plate Of Cookies!*
Redfeather, is that you on True Form Within? I kinda recognize you...
Hee. Thanks for the welcomes, anyway!

[Thylae]

No, you didn't really answer my question, but that's alright. Questioning, I want you to know, is quite normal in this community, and is used to determine not only legitimacy, but how well you are searching yourself, to make sure you are not fooling yourself. So I will ask again, what led you to this decision? You said it feels comfortable, and that does make sense, but how do you know you are a wolf and not some other animal? What led you to the therian/otherkin/vampire communities? I do hope these questions make it easier for you to answer me...I may have been a bit vague at first, and I apologize for that.

Also, about your 'strange' shifts (such as to the hooded snake) how many times have you shifted into that form? Do you feel a connection to dragons or snakes? Does this connection feel more like an outside influence? Or does it feel inner?

You mentioned wings as well. How often do you feel them? Have you noticed any particular occasions that you seem to feel them more?



-MultiCanid

[RedFeather]

Lieka, yeah... I did, fairly recently, start an account there.

I could PM you a link to my new forum as well, if you're interested. (Not to take away from anything here, of course.)

[Crimson]

Personaly, I don't really think of bloodlust as being uncommon at all. Almost every time someone irritates me, I have to snap that mental rubber band and remind myself that biting people in public is a bad thing (even though I can name several people who are in dire need of a good bite). Also, during my awakening at least, I was suddenly attracted to anything involving bloodshed. I made up a new character named Bleach, just so that I could incorporate that bloodlust into any RP proboards that I joined. Bleach is my way of focusing all my violence into something that satisfies me to a point. I know, it's not the same as what you described, but yeah. I think Bloodlust among carnivorous theriotypes is fairly common.

Welcome to the tree, by the way.

[Lieka]

Bout time I replied to this...
I'm writing up the story of my 'awakening', and will put that up soon.
How I found other-kin communities will be in there also.
I have mentally shifted into the snake only once ie. the first time. However, I phantom shift the hood and fangs randomly, same as the wolf. I can concentrate to shift the rest of the snake.
It does seem like an inner influence, though I am no expert. I do like snakes a lot, and have this realistic, ....ok toy, snake that I like to hang round my neck when by myself. I find that it seems to look at me intelligently!
I have the phantom wings (and wolf ears) all the time. Sometimes I can just feel the muscles moving, sometimes I can actually feel them with my hand. I can wrap them around me when I feel sad or defensive etc. and I can brush them against my cheek when I need to calm down, or just want to. The gentle coolness of the feathers is soothing. Yes, feathers most of the time, but the bone structure seems to change to bat/dragon-like sometimes, instead of more bird-like. When they are bird-like is when I can feel feathers.

Thanks for the welcome, Ritz. The bloodlust is a tricky problem, yeah. It's accompanied with feelings of pent-up rage, which is sometimes rational, sometimes not.

Sorry if some of the above post doesn't make sense, I'm not good with phrasing. Do ask if you need!

[Thylae]

It made sense. When you said you shifted only once into the snake, that made me question if it is a totemic influence. However, when you mentioned the many phantom shifts into the same being, that may or may not be therianthropy. It still could be totemic. Yet when you said it's an inner influence, that sounded more like therianthropy. I'd recomend that you look into this further. Meditate on it, search your inner self, and research snakes. Look at how they behave, and observe yourself. Do you see yourself behaving like a snake? Oh and most importantly, take your time! I've experienced the feeling of being rushed to find myself, but the rush, as I am learning, really is no help. Just let it come to you.

Looking forward to reading your story!


-MultiCanid

[vampcat]

Welcome i hope you gain the awsners you need ' and want welcome.